Subject:  Alligator Shoes
> 
> 
> A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted to 
> take home a pair of genuine alligator 
>  shoes in the worst way.... but was very reluctant to pay the high prices 
> the local vendors were asking for the highly prized shoes. 
> After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of 
> one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 
> "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get 
> a pair of shoes at a decent price!" 
>  The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little 
> lady, Y'all just go and give it a try, why don'cha!" The blonde turned on 
> her heel and headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch herself an 
> alligator. 
> 
> Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the 
> side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist 
> deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a 
> huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she 
> takes aim, kills the creature and, with a great deal of effort, hauls it 
> onto the slimy swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead 
> creatures. 
> 
> The shopkeeper stands on the bank and watches this scenario in amazed 
> silence.  Just then, the blonde struggles and flips the gator on its 
> back. Then, rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in great 
> frustration, she shouts out, "Damn, this one is barefoot, too!" 
> Subject: You'd laugh too!! 
> 
>   ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY 
>   A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
> her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.  This time
> the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. 
> The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out
> laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. 
> The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20  years old)
> what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well   your Honor, it was
> like this:  When the lady got on the bus, I   couldn't help but notice her
> condition.  She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins
> are Coming" and I grinned.  Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
> "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she
> placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did
> the Trick",    and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she
> moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could
> have prevented this Accident".. I just lost it." 
>